Milady's Eyes
by Adia Adore
Summary: L&J fic. During her 6th year, Lily Evans falls inadvertantly into the seemingly endless secrets and shared destinies of the maurader's world. But at what cost to herself and those she cares for? PG-13 for a few situations which may pop up later.
1. And There She Waits

Lily Evans was deep in thought

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, JK Rowling; the goddess of Potterdom owns everything. Unless, of course, there's anything I made up, in which case that's mine. J

I realize there is a whole warehouse full of fics about the courtship of J&L…However, I was hoping maybe to establish a little bit more about how and why they formed their bond, and how Lily inadvertently falls into the secret's of James' world…you know…*those* secrets…the ones I can't say lest I give the plot away!

So, sit tight, and be patient. Here goes everything!

**_Milady's Eyes_**

_By Adia_

Lily Evans was deep in thought.

Although the three other bodies that occupied the small house in Surrey were quietly slumbering (and dreaming of sweet and wonderful things), the ignorance that evaded Lily's mind had gotten the best of her consciousness. Ragged and weary as she was, her mind had yet to be silenced. 

Her itchy eyes ached for rest, and she shaded them with her hands as she stared out the window. She secretly wondered what her friends were up to.

_Probably getting into loads of trouble, _she thought, and began to muse about the possibilities.

A cloud passed over the moon, and the light that once flooded the space became dimmer. Lily rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling, wiping the drippy red curls off her face. 

_Lucky stiffs._

A sigh of resentment escaped her mouth.

_You aren't going to find what you're looking for there, _a small voice said.

The ghost of a smile fluttered on her lips as Lily silently wondered what, exactly, she was looking for.

The answer was, of course, nothing. Not at the current moment, anyway. Not so far away from the world she desperately wanted to return to, and from the owl that was quite occupied with finding a meal at the moment. 

The sudden thought of Gwideon reminded her of the letter she had received the previous day. 

_First contact with Hogwarts in months…_

Although it was simply a generic letter reading off the school things she needed before the new term, the thought that someone remembered…_where I belong_…pushed her along…

_Hogwarts._

She closed her eyes.

There was so much she missed. Of course, there was an equal amount of things she was dreading, but those seemed to fade from view after awhile…

She missed the green of the quidditch pitch, the roar from the crowd and her own throat and she cheered on her fellow Gryffindors with all her might. The songs of the sorting hat, the giant squid, and her big empty four-poster bed by the window. 

Lily Evans loved her family…but try as she might; there was a small hole in her heart that could only be filled by a great castle that seemed to sit in the sky…

Lily jumped. She heard a small thud outside her door, and let out a sigh.

Well, almost all her family.

Perhaps it was ignorance…or more likely, jealousy.

_Perhaps both._

Lily really didn't know what drove her sister to such shameless cruelty. Regardless, the tall, horsy faced girl whose eyes were peering under the door was the only reason why Lily so unregretfuly left her family at the end of August.

Petunia was on patrol again.

It was common knowledge that underage wizards were not allowed to perform magic outside of school; however, it was unknown to Petunia Evans how stiff the penalties were for breaking this rule. Nevertheless, she was convinced that one day she would catch Lily in the act, and perhaps prove to her parents once and for all what a menace a witch was to the household.

Which was a pity, because deep down, Lily only wished for her sister to find a certain amount of…self-acceptance. 

_Perhaps then she wouldn't be so focused on bringing other people down._

Without making a sound, Lily got out of bed, and tip-toed across the room, careful not to cross the line of sight created by the crack under the door. She reached it, then grabbed the handle and with a deep breath, began to shake it furiously while shouting as many nonsense words as she could think of:

"Oggly Poogly, dippity drippity do! Higgildy piggildy! Ippity Skippity!Hoggy Warty Impty Nifity, bugger bugger, DIDDLY DO!"

The scurrying of feet down the hall-way assured Lily that the imp had gotten what she'd come for, and perhaps a little more. Unfortunately, with little evidence, Lily didn't foresee a conviction on her part.

_Who says divination isn't my strong subject?_ Lily chuckled to herself as she slipped back underneath the sheets, and resumed her dreaming.

But most of all…most of all…she missed her friends. Her real friends.

Oh, her girlfriends were all well and good, but something deep inside Lily secretly wished she could be a member of the boy's dormitory. Every once in awhile, anyways; preferably when they remembered to have their robes washed. 

She crinkled her nose.

She could still see their faces as though she had only left them yesterday. And she hadn't seen any of them since her birthday. 

_But what wonderful friends they were._

Remus, sunny and serene, full of a quiet vigor that showed itself on most appropriate occasions, Peter, round-faced and wonderful (he sort of reminded her of the brother she never had), and Arthur, tall, lanky, and red. The type of person you wanted around when you were feeling homesick, or when you'd just failed a potions exam.

_Of course, none of them compares to Sirius._

Which meant nothing other then the fact that they were best friends. Although she had often tried to consider what it would be like…if he was anything else…but the pictures were shapeless, blurry at best. 

_Probably an omen._

She had a fairly good sense of what was plausible and what wasn't by how she could picture it, and Lily reckoned that she would probably get a mental preview if anything were to change.

_But if those walls could talk, _she mused_, what stories they would have to tell!_

Oh, Sirius was a gentleman, of course. He always shouldered any burden of punishment that should have been shared by them jointly. As a result, Lily's record was a bit cleaner then she suspected it should have been.

However, it had always been Sirius' goal in life to _"Get in good with a prefect."_

_ _

_"But if you'd keep your temper and curiosity under control, perhaps that wouldn't be such a problem."_

_ _

_"Perhaps if you spent less time trying to steal food from the kitchens, there wouldn't BE any problem!"_

_ _

_"…"_

_ _

_"What?"_

_ _

_"Never reprimand a girl on what she eats, Sirius."_

_ _

_"What a load of old tosh. It probably just goes straight to your hair, anyway. Maybe that's why it's so FAT!"_

_ _

_"Ouch! Stupid git, don't pull it out!"_

_ _

_"Now, now, I'm sure your mother would want you to share…"_

And yet…though it seemed hardly believable on the surface…their bond was unbroken by anything…But Sirius rarely said what he was really thinking. Sometimes this made the discussion of darker subjects considerably lighter for her.

Lily knew that the time would come when her life would move in a different direction then that of her friends. 

_But your_ _favorite partner in crime will always be by your side._

She tried hard to make herself believe it, lest the cockles of her heart feel what it would be like to lose another part of herself…

But the seasons of their lives…as tends to happen…were changing. Quickly. And there were even some parts of it Lily was having trouble grasping. The odd bits of chemistry she sometimes felt between the friends she'd had when she was more of a child. 

The seemingly more urgent intentions of her professors to encourage an active role in "career choices." 

_How good is that if you can't decide on meals from day to day?_

But then…then…

_There's the way_ _you_ _feel when James Potter enters the room…and he looks right through…_

But she preferred not to think about it. She forced herself not to think about it, and instead became very interested in the schoolbooks on her bedside table. But reading the spines gave way to a certainty that the studious, rule-abiding student she appeared to be was not the type of girl Potter would fawn over. 

_How ironic, _she mused, _that it's hardly who I really am…_

She smiled in spite of herself.

Furthermore, it caused knots to form in her stomach when she thought about what Sirius would say:

_"Well, good. At least now I have someone to share your punishments with."_

_Of course…Sirius would have never said what he was really thinking…_

And Lily's mind at this point was much too mushy to imagine it. Slowly, she let her lids drop down over her sight as thoughts of the places and people that awaited her became blurry…and misty…and began to fade into a dark, dreamless sleep…

But not before a pair of black beady eyes appeared in shadows in her window…

A/N: Hey, guys. How are we doing? Alright? Interesting? Yes? No? Maybe? Please let me know. I am open to anything and everything, seeing as though I serve as my own beta. g

I apologize for the absurdity of the made up words. J Of course, I also apologize in advance for any more absurd words I may some up with. J

Next (couple of) Chapters: Lily arrives at everyone's favorite magic school and we get to see a little more character action between all these crazy kids. ;) O rapture! Just a little exposition. Now we can move on to the fun parts!


	2. Starlight Express

All usual disclaimers apply

All usual disclaimers apply. I do not claim to own this world; I'm just borrowing it.

**_Milady's Eyes_**

_By Adia_

_ _

_Chapter 2_

_ _

Lily froze.

Although barely able to peripherally see that something was there, she knew she was being watched. 

_Maybe it's an Auror's instinct,_ she mused hollowly as she waited for whatever was at the window to leave.

It didn't.

Quickly, Lily fumbled for the wand in her pajamas (_Why am I sleeping with my wand anyway?) _as she tried to keep the rest of her body deathly still.

Then, with one quick sweep, Lily hurled herself out of bed, opened the window, and cried:

"_Expelliarmus!"_

_ _

Before she could see what was happening, the thing flew back from the force of the wand, and crashed into the bushes.

Silence.

"Hullo?" Lily called warily, hoping that her potential attacker didn't plan on answering.

Suddenly, a few flickers of light came the bush, and some more rustling was heard. Lily poked her head out of the window.

"Hullo?" She called a little more loudly. Nothing. 

But before she could call out again, her mouth has suddenly covered by a pair of big hands…that belonged to tall, lanky figure. Lily screamed from behind them and began to wave her wand in every direction.

"_Shhhhh_!" he hissed, as she struggled against him. "You don't want me to call Filch on you, do you?"

It was Sirius.

Lily pulled herself free from his grasp, breathless and agitated. __

_If you wanted to pay me a visit,_ she thought angrily, _at least you could have tapped on the window._

As though he had heard her thoughts, Sirius rolled his eyes. He tried to hold back a smile as Lily attempted to smooth over her disheveled hair. When she had finished, he then leaned in to the window.

"I'm sorry I scared you," he whispered, "But we've got things to do. C'mon."

As Sirius turned away, Lily stared at him, sleepy with confusion. Then something struck her.

"How did you manage to get here unnoticed?"

Sirius stopped, and turned back to face her, eyes suddenly sparkling with anxiety. 

"We've only a few more hours of true darkness before someone-"

"How did you manage to get here unnoticed?"

"Invisibility Cloak" Sirius muttered quickly as he tried to unhinge the windows, in order for Lily to climb out.

"You don't have an invisibility cloak," pressed Lily, "And I hardly think that it's worthwhile to try and break that off yourself, when you've already snuck out at night trying to capture me." Lily pulled out her wand again and charmed away the window.

"It's not mine," Sirius replied quietly, as he helped Lily out, "It's James'."

Lily winced. The one unsettling part of their friendship was that she had to share Sirius…with him. The boy whom she cared not to think about was slowly creeping back into her brain. Not that she had anything against him, of course, that would make little sense considering the way her face flushed when he entered the room. But deep down…she was a little jealous. Adventures with Sirius were fun and good…but she had heard stories. Often, she secretly wished that she was the one splashing in the lake at Hogwarts, narrowly escaping the grindylows and lying under the stars until the sun peaked over the horizon, at which time escaping back in the common room, sniggering and picking sea weed out of her clothes.

_ _

_Boys have all the fun, _she silently fumed.

Sirius had not taken notice. In fact, he was more occupied with finding something on the ground.

"And what, exactly, were you proposing for our midnight errands?" Lily inquired.

Sirius didn't look up. "Well, first of all, I have to return this cloak…once I find it, that is."

Lily snorted. "You wouldn't have to return it if you hadn't came and gotten me in the first place!"

Sirius' eyes flickered upwards. He then plunged his hands into a nearby bush and pulled out a long, silvery garment.

"As much as I'd like to sit here and debate this issue," He replied flatly, "It appears we have a bit of company."

Lily looked up as a big, tawny owl circled over their heads, with a white piece of parchment attached to its talons. 

_Oh, perfect, _she thought, _A Ministry owl._

Sirius, invisibility cloak in tow, began hurriedly searching for something else.

_Of course, they catch **my** spells, _she thought disdainfully, as she climbed out of the window. _God knows what he had to cast on the way over here._

Sirius swiftly reached back into the bush and pulled out a broom. As he raised it into the air, the tawny owl swooped down, grazing the curls on Lily's head. 

"C'mon," he said, as he pulled her on, and draped the cloak over their selves. "It'll never know what happened to us."

The grin flashed before her eyes as the cloak fell in front his face. She held to him tightly as he took off into the midnight air.

Lily pulled herself closer as they rose up into the clouds

She had never really cared much for flying. She much preferred to stay on the ground, and wondered endlessly how anyone could work up the courage to risk their lives batting around balls and catching snitches, let alone keep both hands safely latched to the broom. Silently, she counted the months until she could get an apparation license, and not have to worry about defying gravity anymore.

She shifted a bit uneasily. There was something unsettling about gripping someone you couldn't see.

They glided along in silence for a while, and then Lily rested her chin on his shoulder and whispered into his ear:

"How could you have misplaced your cloak within such a short period of time?"

Sirius snorted. "O, I don't know. I'm sure it had nothing to do with my being blasted out of my wits."

Lily stifled a grin. "Sorry."

"Oh, no harm done. You were only doing what I would have wanted you to do if I had thought some big, scary, wizard was going to attack you. Of course, to Petunia, I'm sure that's what I am…"

But Lily's mind had begun to wander. As she surveyed the landscape below them, she found she could only see patches of the earth beneath the clouds. Sleepy little houses, tiny cars, all unaware of the invisible flying spectacles above them. Her eyes turned instead to the heavens.

The waves of darkness broke upon her face as she became lost in the sea of little drops, shaped like animals and legends and ethereal souls that seemed much more magnified here then at any tower at Hogwarts. The wind blew her hair in every which direction as she seemingly sailed through the stars…

Lily brought herself back. There was something she had forgotten to ask.

"Where are we going?"

"I already told you," Sirius replied, "I have to return this cloak to its owner."

Lily's stomach lurched. She was willing to forgo an argument about arriving at Potter's house so late at night, lest she give away her real reasons for avoiding him, but something told her she needed to be forewarned about the rest of the evening:

"I meant," Lily said stonily, "Where are we going after that?"

She felt his face curve into a smile. "Milady, if I gave it away now, I'm sure you'd fall off your broom in delight, so I'll just wait until we're on safer ground, alright?"

Lily sulked. It was bad enough there was an irritated owl waiting for her when she returned home, now she had to wait for the details. But Sirius was hardly one to let her down. She considered this as she smoothed away some hair from her face. _I'm sure we'll make a big 'ol mess. _

She found herself smiling at that thought.

Before she knew it, they were descending, back through the clouds and down closer to earth. They began to glide through the streets, past the dark cottages, twisting and turning with an assurance Lily lacked.

Soon, they began to slow down as they approached a modest house on the edge of the neighborhood. It was set on the edge of the forest, with a small garden, and one semi-lit window on the second floor.

Lily began to remember what she'd forgotten.

"Sirius," she stammered anxiously, "We don't really need to take it back right now. I mean, I'm sure James wouldn't mind if you brought it along for wherever we're going, or even if we used it! I bet he'd think it a fine idea, one he'd have surely thought of himself if he was here-"

Sirius clasped an invisible hand over her mouth, ceasing the words. Although annoyed, Lily faintly understood. There were some times when she'd have liked to shut herself up, too.

"Really, Lily," Sirius crooned, teasingly, "One would think you didn't **like** James."

Lily felt her face burn. "Of course not!" She said a little too quickly, "I'm sure he's…a lot of fun. Tons. I just…I just…"

_I just know what it feels like when he looks at me, _she thought.

Of course, she didn't want to explain this to Sirius. She could hardly explain it to herself.

"Smashing." He said quickly, with a smile in his voice, "I knew you'd come around."

Sirius reached the roof of the cottage and hovered by the window. He rapped on the glass. Silence. He knocked a little harder.

No one came.

"O, for goodness sakes, _Alohomora_!" Sirius grunted, waving his wand distractedly. The windows sprang open, and they flew inside.

It was a small room, with blue walls and wooden floors. There were shelves of books, some Lily recognized as ones they'd used at school, others that looked older, or printed in foreign runes. Some were dirty and dingy, hidden in crevices between larger volumes of encyclopedias. It bore a slight resemblance to the restricted section of the library, Lily noted, save for the bed in one corner, and a desk along the same wall.

"I'd rather not think about the heyday the ministry is going to have with me." Sirius muttered as they landed on the floor. 

Lily wasn't listening. Transfixed, she slid off the side of the broom.

And there he was.

James was sitting on the chair tucked into the desk, bent over something Lily couldn't see. The low blue glow from his wand (perched on a shelf) lit the area where he worked, and made him appear seemingly detached from what was transpiring nearby. His hair, disheveled as usual, hung in soft chunks over his forehead, while his dark glasses kept sliding down the slope of his nose. He pushed them back without looking up.

"Ahem," Sirius cleared his throat rather loudly, somewhat annoyed at being ignored for so long.

James glanced up in their direction. A boyish smile spread across his face, and Lily shivered.

Suddenly, his face became awash with intent. He stood up from where he sat, and walked towards them, eyeing the invisibility cloak Sirius held in his hands. He grasped it, and held it up to his face.

"Right," he said, his dark eyes searching the fabric, "Well, everything seems to be in order here."

Lily fidgeted uncomfortably, feeling somewhat like a third wheel. She wasn't used to being in James and Sirius' company so exclusively. Lily suspected Sirius had a reason for that.

James looked back up at her. His eyes seemingly wandered through every curve and crevice of her face, like a child discovering what it was to feel something for the first time. For a moment, she stared, mesmerized. Then, as an impish grin reappeared on his mouth, she snapped out of her trance, and looked at Sirius, pleadingly.

"Right, well, we'll be on our way then-" She turned to leave.

James grabbed her by the wrist. She shuddered. His fingers were long and slender, cool to the touch. He pulled her back a little.

"Not so fast." He said quietly.

Lily felt her pulse beating in her throat. Although in the back of her thoughts she had suspected that tonight's adventure was not going to be a duet, she hoped, for her own sanity, that maybe James would change his mind.

Which, of course, she knew was impossible.

As Lily turned back around, he released his grip.

"You couldn't just go off and have all the fun without me, you know," He said with a bit of a wry smile on his face. "Especially since I have what you need."

Lily glanced disdainfully over at Sirius. He tried to act like he had no idea what James was talking about.

_All right,_ she thought, _if I had anything to worry about, I'm sure I would have been given a fair warning._

_Besides…you can't deny that this is what you wanted._

Lily was hard pressed to disprove her own logic. She nodded for him to continue, hoping her face hadn't given her away.

"Right, then." James stepped aside to reveal an object she hadn't noticed before. It resembled an old, dirty glove, and for a moment, Lily wondered absently what it was.

"It's a portkey." He said evenly, "To Hogwarts."

Bells of alarm went off in Lily's head. As much as the prospect of having an adventure with him was…wonderful…she knew the consequences of getting caught trespassing would be stiff. This wasn't just sneaking around after lights out, or pilfering a few treacle tarts from the kitchens. She was putting her future as a prefect, let alone all of theirs at school, in severe jeopardy. Lily's mind wandered back to the home she had just left, and the eyes of her sniveling sister underneath the door. It was not a place she wanted to return to permanently.

However, James and Sirius did not appear to have the same sentiments as she did.

"Oh, excellent, James, I was beginning to think I'd have to ride that wretched thing another 500 miles." Sirius said, gesturing at broom on the floor.

"Yes, Indeed." James appeared very pleased with himself. "I actually found it on the grounds last year, but it took awhile before I figured out what it was, and how I could get it back here…without returning back to school a 100 times in the process."

"But why did you think you would need to go back-?" Lily began to interject, but Sirius waved an impatient hand at her.

"Action first, questions later." He said quickly, as he walked over to the glove. He looked back at James. "Shall we, dear friend?"

"My Pleasure," James replied, then looked towards Lily, "But ladies first, of course." He grinned.

_That _grin.

That beautiful, wonderful grin which turned her insides to mush and made her do something as horrid as follow his lead.

But as they gathered around the object, he mind suddenly returned.

"And what, may I ask, are you planning on doing once we arrive?"

James considered this for a moment. "Well," he said, "Let's just say I have to pick up a few things."

"Are you implying that we will be **stealing** from Hogwarts as well?" Lily said impatiently.

"Stealing," James replied, "would imply that what we're taking isn't mine."

He grabbed his wand from the shelf, muttered a spell, and the light went out. The room was suddenly plunged into an inky blackness.

"The less conspicuous we are," Lily heard Sirius say, "The less likely this room will become a new owlry."

They stood together in silence for a few moments. Lily felt the wind pick up from the window. She shivered, and pulled her pajamas closer around her.

Suddenly, she felt her arm being grabbed, and a voice leaned in towards her ear.

"Trust me," James whispered, as he slowly guided her hand to where the glove lay.

A/N: I know, I know, I'm SORRY! You're just going to have to wait. I posted this soon after my first chapter hoping maybe to hook some of you. g Thank you muchly to all who reviewed this. Be assured I will clear up some confusion, but be sure to specify **what** confuses you. For one, Lily IS going back, I stated in the 1st chapter that she received her note for the new term, but she misses Hogwarts, naturally. So, on that note, recommend me to your friends! Knowing I have some sort of reader base keep morale up, and thus, better chapters! Yea for that! So, any questions, comments, reviews, tomatoes? I'm willing to take them all, just don't go all Snape on me! ETA on chapter 3 is Thursday, September 20th. __

_ _


	3. Return to Hogwarts

"First off, trespassing is expressedly against school rules

I don't own any of these people, they're property of the great JKR, I only own the plots.

**_ _**

**_ _**

**_Milady's Eyes_**

_By Adia_

_ _

_Chapter 3: Return to Hogwarts_

As though she had been jerked from behind, Lily suddenly found herself awash in oblivion.

The last time Lily had traveled by portkey, she had been very small, leaving her somewhat unfamiliar with the experience. Her form seemed to fast-forward through cities and towns and forests, like traveling through the floo system, except with no fireplaces. She closed her eyes; suddenly sick with worry and motion sickness, and wishing perhaps she had held out for another broom ride.

Suddenly, the world resumed its normal pacing, and she hit the ground with a thud. Blinking and shaking her head free of dirt, Lily raised herself up on her elbows to find herself on the foothills of the neatly trimmed quidditch pitch, dimly lit by the orbs in the sky. Beyond the towering presence of the green and stadium, the sprawling lawns sloped through the valley, to the borders of the forest, down to the lake, and up to the gates of the castle. Although it was still night, the ground smelled of dew and summer, familiar and fresh. But school certainly wasn't in session yet; and the grounds seemed oddly lonely, as though they derived life from residents who lived there most of the year. As her mind readjusted to her new whereabouts, Lily wondered where her two cohorts had landed. Before long, however, laughter from behind grew steadily louder, and the shadows of two lanky boys could be seen on the ground.

"Need a little help?" Sirius sniggered.

She spun around to find them standing behind her, slightly disheveled, and to her dismay, stifling laughter.

Lily's face flushed as she turned it back towards the ground. _So landing on my feet isn't my strong point. Ha ha ha._

She took Sirius' hand, and pulled herself up, further surveying her surroundings. She noticed that they were nearby the quidditch locker rooms, at the edge of the pitch, and a short walk from the forbidden forest. Too short for her comfort, anyway. A gust of wind gave away the immediate presence of the whomping willow, its long tentacle-like branches swishing in the breeze just beyond the stadium. Lily turned back to the two boys standing before her.

"All right," She said wryly, "What's the big fuss about? Are we turning the giant squid into some interesting shade of yellow?"

Sirius and James looked as though Christmas had come early. Lily smiled in spite of herself. From afar, they often appeared this way, to be the brothers neither of them had ever had. 

"Well," James replied, his dark eyes glittering with excitement, "When we went on holiday, I figured it would…behoove me…to make sure the Slytherins didn't see the quidditch cup until I was long gone. So I've been putting in quite a bit of overtime on the field, probably a little more then what would be deemed conspicuous. Let's just say I got into a bit of trouble."

"About 4 owls worth," Sirius said, "Some business with a concealment charm that went bad…"

"Anyways, since the ministry got wind that I was flying a little too close to muggle eyes..."

"Which wouldn't have happened if the concealment charm had worked."

"And they took away my Nimbus 250."

"Ugly gits," muttered Sirius. "Nearly broke my neck on that reject piece of tree stump I had to deliver you on, Lil."

"Sirius, I didn't come out of my mother attached to a state-of-the-art racing broom. It served its purpose, didn't it? Anyways, word is that the Nimbus is being hidden right over…there." James pointed to the broom shed.

Lily became quizzical. It was not striking her what her role was to be in this project.

James read her face and quickly continued. "Now, normally we would just unlock the door, retrieve the broom, and be done with it. But there appears to be a hidden closet in the broom shed, created by the school officials for hiding things such a these."

"Objects of destruction confiscated by reckless delinquents." Sirius muttered sarcastically.

James smiled slyly. " But you see, as talented as we are-"

"And we **are** talented." Sirius interjected.

"…We don't quite have the power to break the lock. And since you happen to be a prefect," James moved towards her, "We realize certain…advantages…you are given above other students."

"Such as knowing how to open such a safe. Which is why, m'dear, you've been hoisted out of your bed at such an obscene hour of the night, and brought back to this great institution that granted such authority. So, on that note, we had better utilize your talents before our shadows are no longer being cast from the moon." Sirius was beside himself in his own brilliance. 

Lily took everything in for a moment. Her suspicions regarding her own unsavory involvement confirmed, she wasn't quite sure how to respond. Of course, she should have seen it coming, seeing as though Sirius had spent the last 6 years of his life as her scapegoat, biding his time for a moment like this.

_Ah ha, _She thought disdainfully, _Sirius has finally found a use for me._

_I wonder what took him so long._

_ _

"Nothing gets past you, does it?" Lily said bitterly. Sirius' smile faded.

He forced a laugh. "I know it's not exactly the holiday you were expecting, but we'll make do. Right?" Sirius' face was riddled with anxiety.

But Lily had noticed the small, glittering badge near a pocket on James's robes. In the middle was a large "P". Lily silently laughed at herself for not remembering sooner.

_Well, that's odd, _she thought. _I don't recall being able to do anything he can't. Unless, of course, he's been pulled from the position, and has decided to keep the badge for show. _Lily tried to push the bitter thoughts out of her head.

_ _

"Why can't James unlock it? He's a prefect." Lily replied evenly.

James replied as though he had anticipated the question. "When they took the broom, I was obviously a little…perturbed…needless to say, they figured it would be best if they stripped a bit of my power…at least, until school got back into session, and I was allowed the Nimbus back legally. So, on that note, why don't we cut the chatter and give us a shot at the cup this year, hmm?"

She stared at them for a moment. "We," Lily said stonily, "will not be doing anything. I don't think the two of you understand the implications of what you're suggesting. First of all, this isn't fun, it's dangerous! The risk to our standing at this school aside, we are standing **directly** in harm's way. If either of you had done your homework, you would have realized that we in very close proximity to the forbidden forest, whose inhabitants have no qualms about coming out in the middle of the night, mind you. Especially if they start to see wand light coming from our direction. Furthermore, if anything should happen to us, no one will know we are here!"

But Sirius waved away any further attempts at reason with an impatient hand. "One complaint at a time," he said soberly, "Alright, seeing as though your personal track record doesn't exactly outline you as the queen of discipline, as succinctly as you can, why are you suddenly so unwilling to go on a little adventure?

He had a point. This was most in definitely not what either she or he had expected, seeing as though the mastermind had suddenly become the stick in the mud. Lily faintly realized that she was burning a bridge with Sirius by refusing, but something told her that she needed to stand her ground for once.

"First off, trespassing into a safe like that is expressedly against school rules!"

Sirius sighed as though the answer was obvious. "And what do we do when you break school rules?"

"Blame it on him." James replied, grinning.

"Exactly," said Sirius, rolling his eyes, "So you have nothing to fear, besides the fact that I may be horse-whipped by Filch. C'mon."

He and Sirius broke into a run towards the broom shed. Startled, lily clambered after them.

"Wait!" Lily gasped, trying to keep up, "Secondly, I don't know how adventurous you're going to feel once you've been bitten by a werewolf."

Both James and Sirius suddenly stopped short, turning back towards her. Lily felt her cheeks flush as their eyes bore into her head. Although both their faces were lined with urgency, the color had drained out of James, and Lily could detect a bit of shakiness of Sirius' voice even as he spoke to her:

"You needn't worry about that." He said with a sudden seriousness. "We'll be able to handle it."

For a moment, Lily wondered if she should question how that was possible, but then her mind returned as she glanced back at the face that still intently staring her down. _So they're willing to give up their careers and their safety for a broomstick, _Lily thought soberly. Regardless of whether or not the broom was actually James's…they **were** stealing. And she was running out of excuses to stop them. Furthermore, a small part of her wished she hadn't the sense to stop herself. Although blessed (and somewhat cursed) with the advantage of foresight, Lily had always been mischievous at heart, and it was this spirit that drew Sirius to her. This was not, however, a run of the mill adventure. 

It was her firm roots in the ground that were finally pulling his head out of the sky, and it was secretly killing her to do it.

She looked back at his pleading face, knowing within those eyes full of abandon there was a heart that always wanted to keep her safe. Sirius was, for all intents and purposes, her truest friend. She knew his Achilles heel lay in this desire, and although he was somewhat using her protected state to his advantage at the moment, he never would intentionally harm her. Perhaps she could use this. Lily considered it for a moment. There wasn't much more she could do.

"Thirdly," she said slowly, "Using my powers as a prefect for any reasons other then those benefiting the school is grounds for stripping me of my position."

But it was now James who answered this plea.

"Oh, what, so a little fun isn't worth as much to her stodginess as that prefect badge, is that it?" 

_You know that's not true, _Lily thought bitterly, _you know it isn't. Tell him. Tell him it isn't._

_ _

James took a step forward, watching her intently. Lily felt her mind turn to mush as the words she wanted to say leapt back into her throat. Although her focus was 

locked on his eyes, she could faintly see the beginnings of a smile play on his lips.

_He's testing you, _a voice said, _He's trying to see what you're made of._

_He wants to know if Sirius was right about you._

Eyes full of curiosity and intent, James took one of her hands in his and started to examine it, running a finger along the soft joints above her palm, tracing the lines and the tiny bones. Lily's gaze suddenly shifted as she wondered what was running through his mind.

"Such nice structure," he said softly, intertwining his fingers in hers, "most excellent for charm work."

_ _

Lily tensed, squinting her eyes shut, trying desperately to regroup every source of resolve she had. But this time, however, Lily was not dissuaded from her thoughts. She pulled away from his grasp and took a few steps backward.

"For your information," Lily said flatly, "This prefect badge allows me to be in farther nicer places then a expulsion notice."

James and Sirius looked flabbergasted. Sirius' eyes were anxious, hoping blindly that the uncharacteristic actions of his friend were negotiable. 

"Oh, Lily, do be reasonable." He stammered,"We've already gone to a great deal of trouble to get to where we are, and it would be very unfair for you to ruin it now-"

"I AM being reasonable!" Lily hissed, "In fact, it appears that I am the only reasonable person present! Perhaps when that portkey delivers your minds, you'll understand this…this…idiocy!"

But even as she said it, Lily knew she had gone too far. Though certainly devilish, neither James nor Sirius thought this to be a stupid idea, but the knowledge that Lily would think so wounded them deeply. The hurt in James' eyes was too much to bear, and tears stung in her eyes as she looked down at her feet, uncomfortable in her own skin. Not knowing what to do, Lily turned and started to run, face still cast towards the ground.

_You didn't mean to hurt them; _Lily silently tried to reason with herself, blindly rushing through the half-light. _They must know that. They must. You just wanted to keep them safe, show them that they might have gone a little too far, that's all…_

But her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a large crack. By the time Lily had looked up from where she had run to, it was too late. She had ventured straight into the path of the whomping willow's thrashing branches. Before she could move, they had enveloped and lifted her off the ground in a great lurch.

Arms and legs flailing, Lily twisted and turned in a desperate attempt to free herself. The branches tossed her around like a plaything, flinging her into the air and throwing her back to earth alternately, making her sick and dizzy from the height and effort. She shut her eyes.

_O, God please, help. Help me. Help me. PLEASE._

_ _

Suddenly, the sounds of running grew nearer, and she could hear their voices from behind.

"For God's sake, prod the knot!"

"I CAN'T! It's too far away."

"I can't find any sticks! Try harder!"

"Any harder and I'm as good as airborne, James."

_Knot? _She thought faintly. _What knot…?_

_ _

Then, without warning, the branches that were wrapped around her legs tightened, and Lily felt a sickening crack.

She let out a gasp of pain. Her mind was screaming, but she could scarcely breath. Lily felt the world tumbling around her as her body surged with pain.

_Let it end…please…let it end…James…Sirius…hello? _

_Hello?_

_ _

But the voices had disappeared. Beyond the air being whipped by the branches, the only thing Lily could hear was rustling…No, it was running…and the sounds seemed to be growing smaller…and smaller. 

And then they were gone. It all became nothing. Nothing but the shapes illuminated vaguely beneath her eyelids and the fire in her legs. 

_They've left me, _she wailed silently, _they've left me, and now I'm going to die._

_ _

_No, you're not._

_ _

_Yes, I am! It hurts, I can't feel, I can't see, I can't hear anything at all…no one knows where I am…no one knows where I am…_

_ _

_No one…_

_ _

Lily's stomach gave a lurch. Her whole body suddenly felt completely abandoned, and her mind was fading in and out of focus as the burning began to spread into her hips and feet and chest…

And then…without warning…the willow gave a particularly violent snap and Lily felt herself being whipped from its grasp and into the air. Senseless and terrified, Lily flailed her limp arms and legs, trying desperately to somehow grasp the air and break her fall.

Then she felt the glass.

Shattering into a million pieces, shards of the window trailed after her as Lily slammed through it and onto the floor, sprawling in every direction, and fading in and out of consciousness. She lay there, silent and unmoving, unable to feel anything but the air around her face. Her eyes remained closed, and the only thing she could hear was the faint ringing in her ears.

_Oh, _she thought vaguely, _so this is what it feels like to be dead._

_ _

She felt the last of her body become numb, and then her mind wiped itself of thought…

A/N: Right on time as promised. ;) Thank you muchly to everyone who reviewed, and I hope you'll continue to do so, I will always consider ideas and suggestions. Like I said before, tell your friends! Higher morale keeps chapter quality up. Thanks much to my wonderful (and sick :( ) beta reader Lauren, who fixes my words better then I can. :) ETA on chapter 4 is Friday, September 28th.

_ _


	4. Awakening

And then everything was still

See usual disclaimers.

**_Milady's Eyes_**

_By Adia_

_ _

_Chapter 4: Awakening_

**_ _**

And then everything was still.

Save for the tinkling of glass hanging precariously from the shattered window, and the wind whistling through the gaping hole, the hall was devoid of sound.

Time had stopped.

Hair entangled and body riddled with wounds and bruises, Lily existed between the light and the dark, mind swimming in the surreal sensations of both pain and no feeling, unaware of anything but her immediate state of agony. She tried to lift her head, only to feel it pressed back down again by the weight of the pounding in her brain.

There was nothing.

Her thoughts devolved from words to currents racing through her body, trying hopelessly to calm the pulsing of her nerves. Names and ideas were only lost in the chaos. In some seconds, a syllable would emerge from the throng, only to disappear again in a wave of heat and electricity. 

There was nothing, and there was everything, disassembled into molecular madness.

After what seemed like ages swimming in a primordial soup of thought, Lily's mind lifted itself from its haze long enough to hear footsteps racing down the hall, the thunder pounding into her forehead.

"What on earth…?"

"She could have been here for hours! Is she still warm?"__

_ _

_Hours…hours…warm…very warm…hot…I'm hot…I'm hot…_

_ _

Lily felt a cool pair of hands in her forehead.

_ _

"Yes, Poppy, very much so. Nevertheless, I fear she may be awhile in the ward."

"How in heaven's name did this happen?"__

_ _

"It's that fool tree, that's what happened! It'll cost us more lives then it's going to save by the time it's had its say!"

_Tree…cost…life…save…life…save…me…_

"Poppy, you know perfectly well that the willow is a sound investment. The children just need to understand that it's not a plaything."

Lily felt herself being turned over.

"Sound investment?!? A sound investment in emptying beds, I'd say!"

_Sound beds…save life…save me…_

"My dear Poppy, there's no need to get excited. I'm sure after a few days of bed rest, she'll be back on her feet. Now then, Minerva, would you mind helping me take her up the hospital wing? This corridor is dreadfully cold."

_Save me…save me…so hot…_

"Of course."

Lily felt herself being lifted off the ground, her body suddenly weightless and being above the floor by an invisible force.

She felt another pair of hands grasp her shoulders, and her form began to move down the corridor.

Someone brushed her curls from her face.

"Lily Evans…" A voice whispered.

_Lily…Lily…_

_I **am** Lily…_

"Oh Goodness, Albus, you don't think…?

"No, Poppy. I don't."

"But why…?"

"He wouldn't have hurtled her through a window. He would have killed her."

_ _

_Window…? Window…_

_ _

_Killed who…? Killed me…Who…killed me…?_

It was silent for a few moments.

"But maybe he tried…?"

_Tried to kill…tried to kill me…_

"She isn't dead, Poppy."

_…He…?_

Someone swallowed hard. Lily strained herself to hear what they were saying.

"It was only the willow, Poppy, we mustn't jump to foolish conclusions just yet, it will be the death of us."

_Death…Dead…He killed me…he killed me…I must be dead._

_ _

_No…no…that one…that one just said you aren't…aren't dead…_

_ _

_Lily not dead…_

Suddenly, Lily felt herself come to a halt.

"Foolish? Foolish? Am I being foolish, Minerva? Are my fears not warranted? Albus, you said so yourself that before long we _won't be able_ to shelter them from him anymore! Are we going to wait to worry until that time comes?"

The words rang through the vacuum of darkness and echoed off the walls and floor and ceiling. Lily silently groaned with the reverberation in her brain and gave a slight shudder. Her head hurt from the concentration on their words. She didn't understand what was happening or whom they were so afraid of.

_Lily not dead…tree killed window…killed me…killed me…_

_ _

_No…you're not dead…you're not dead. He said so…said so…_

But Dumbledore didn't respond. Instead, Lily heard him mutter a phrase, and in a burst of light, the world dissolved away…

Some time later, in the hazy softness of a hospital bed, Lily awoke. 

Slowly, at first, keeping her eyes shut, though the blackness in the room kept her blinded to her surroundings. The pain in her head had dulled itself into a tingling numbness, and as the feeling returned to her fingers; she could feel the cool sheets beneath them. 

_…I'm alive…_

_ _

As the world began to slowly piece itself together, her mind swam with everything that had transpired in the last few hours, trying to make sense of all the words inside her head. 

However, the chaos in her brain began to sort itself out and vaguely returned to the conversation in the corridor.

_Something's wrong…He…He… Dumbledore… said it himself, something is wrong._

Her heart skipped a few beats.

The security of their way of life had always been reassured by their smiling headmaster, and although he appeared to be non-plussed by the alarming situation Madam Pomfrey had referred to, Lily knew that voice. 

The voice that knew too much fear to let any of it escape from his throat.

Lily shuddered. If Dumbledore couldn't protect them from whatever was threatening their lives…she feared the worst.

Lily suddenly felt very alone in the world.

She opened her eyes, mind suffocating from the lack of stimulus. She peered around; her eyes adjusting to the semi-darkness and vaguely wondered where she…was.

_Oh, _she thought, **_that _**

_That…tree…that tree tried to kill me…_

_ _

Although somewhat alarmed by the unnamed impending danger, her mind suddenly switched back to the problem at hand. A prefect was lying in the hospital wing after being hurtled through a Hogwarts window by the whomping willow. There was little she could concoct to excuse herself from this.

To make matters worse, there was no Sirius on hand to take the brunt of the punishment.

Lily cursed under her breath, partially for the pickle she had found herself in, but also because she had become so spoiled by his being her scapegoat.

_I told them;_ she thought bitterly, _I knew… this would happen. Now it's… all ruined. In a few minutes… everything…everything I've wanted to be is all ruined._

_ _

For a few moments, Lily forgot about the pain in her body and commiserated in her own misfortune. She was most defiantly caught, for something she hadn't planned, nor enjoyed, nor even reaped the benefits of, and there was no one here to save her.

_Might as well… had just gone along with them, _she thought, _at least I wouldn't have made them so…hurt…_

_ _

_Oh… lord._

_ _

Lily's mind flashed back to a pair of deep, dark eyes, staring back at hers like they had been fatally wounded. In the back of her mind, Lily wondered why her qualms with the adventure had had such an impact of James especially, but the only thing she could think of now was the sinking feeling that she may have lost of couple of friends. In a way.

Lily tried to suck back the tears that were forming in her eyes. She had her chance. Sirius handed it to her on a silver platter, but her good sense had stomped all over it. She knew that it wasn't going to come back, and although a friendship was James Potter was the least of her worries at the moment, Lily couldn't help but feel sick with disappointment.

However, her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of the ward doors unlocking and opening, and Madam Pomfrey appearing at her bedside with the mannerisms of a mother hen.

"Oh, thank goodness! There's already some color back in your face! Here, take this."

Madam Pomfrey offered her a goblet of some foul smelling liquid, and Lily took it, sipping it reluctantly.

"Now, you be sure to drink it all! I know, it's terrible, but it'll be good for what ails you, which, I'm sure, is everything at this moment…how is your leg feeling?"

Lily noticed that the pain in her legs had dulled significantly. Rather, it had sort of dissipated throughout the rest of her body, giving it a sort of dull, bruised feeling.

Madam Pomfrey bustled about the room, gathering various vials and medical paraphernalia, and depositing them on the table next to Lily's bedside.

"Goodness, I'm running low on supplies. Thank goodness you aren't more hurt then this, I'm not sure I would have been able to fix you. Are you finished with that?"

Lily relinquished the empty goblet. 

"Not exactly tasty, I understand, but it's good for what ails you. Now, dear, you just get some rest-"

But she was interrupted by the creaking sounds of the door opening. Lily felt a lump in her throat as Professor Dumbledore entered the ward. His twinkling blue eyes were surprisingly stoic. He looked tired, with hollowed shadows on his face, still in his dressing robes and nightcap.

"Poppy, would you mind excusing us for a moment?"

Madam Pomfrey looked indignant. "Headmaster, this girl needs her rest, you know potions alone wont-"

"I'm sure a few moments lost sleep will do her no more harm, Poppy." Dumbledore interjected.

Madam Pomfrey appeared to be very put off by this suggestion. However, she left in room, shutting the office door behind her in a bit of a huff.

And then they were alone.

Eyes downcast, Lily mindlessly started searching her bed sheets, offhandedly wishing it were possible or legal to apparate from within Hogwarts. 

Dumbledore approached her bedside.

"How are you feeling?" He said quietly.

"Better," she said.

Dumbledore seemed to consider this for a moment. "For the record, I do agree with the fact that you do need your rest, and I'm certainly willing to grant you that…but…"

He trailed off for a moment, but then leaned in towards her, steel blue eyes locked on hers.

"Would you care to share how exactly you ended up in this position?"

A/N: Hey guys. I really do apologize about the relative brevity (and low quality, I might add) of this chapter. But this was a very busy week, and the fact that you even have **this** version of chapter four is pretty amazing. Seriously. Longer chapter next week, I promise. J Thanks very much to those who continue to review, namely Trinity Day, psycheme, and BridgetS, please continue to do so, it keeps me happy and chapters from not being crappy. And, for those of you who came for a Lily and James fic, and are wondering what weird direction I happen to be going in, hang tight. ;) I am a firm believer that there is more to an L/J fic then just ripping off clothes with you teeth. It will all make sense, eventually. ETA on chapter 5 is Friday, Oct 5th. 


	5. Repose

(Oiy! Guess who's never uploading a chapter in text form again! That was yucky looking.

Ug, now that I look at it…this is awful short. Don't worry, the plot can pick up now that I've gotten this situation out of the way)

A/N: Hey guys. College and writer's block hate me.

So, to everybody who's been waiting for…Oh, lord, 2 months…?

Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry. J

**_Milady's Eyes:_**

_By Adia_

_Chapter 5: Repose_

Dumbledore's eyes bored into her head. It seemed that Lily was doomed to certain explanation. She wondered if he could tell if she chose to lie. Although she had already been caught red-handed, a part of Lily didn't want to drag Sirius and…James…down with her.

_I'm not sure it matters at this point, _she thought, suddenly recalling that this incident was a result of her already disregarding their feelings.

_You don't have much to lose._

The thought made her unusually melancholy.

She swallowed, and began to talk.

Dumbledore listened calmly and silently as she spoke of the portkey, the broomstick, and how she had **tried** to stop them, and had ended up at the willow's mercy, and the rest of the selectively revealed details.

Lily finished and cast her eyes back to the sheets. A few moments of painful silence passed. Then Dumbledore, amazingly, began to laugh.

She looked back up into his eyes, which were twinkling and seemed to be free of the seriousness that pervaded them only a moment ago.

Lily felt perplexed.

Dumbledore reached forward and pulled a strand of hair out of Lily's face in a grandfatherly fashion.

"You'll have to forgive me, my dear, for that unorthodox reception, but…considering the circumstances…it is a bit of a relief that your troubles were a result of prefect mischief."

He paused.

"Miss Evans, someday, when you are much older, you'll gather your children around your kitchen table and tell them a story like this, and I don't hesitate in saying that you might laugh as well."

He sighed.

"But I'm afraid…it isn't quite as amusing right now, is it?"

The question, though rhetorical, was not meant to be scathing. Rather, Dumbledore spoke very empathetically as Lily flinched from the pain. 

"In a few days, you should be up and about again-at which point it will be so close to Sept. 1st, I think you'd prefer to remain here for the duration of the holidays, I presume?"

Lily nodded.

"I will see to it that your things are transported safely to the prefect's dormitory, and that your family is informed of your whereabouts, of course. I've no doubt they must be worried."

Lily felt a little sick at the thought of her parents knowing she was cavorting around at midnight. In the company of two magically dangerous boy, no less. But nevertheless, her heart gave a little leap. If Dumbledore was taking her things to the prefect's dorm, then all couldn't be lost. 

"But," he interjected into her thoughts, "What transpired this evening was very serious. You have been appointed a prefect in order to ensure the safety and well being of your fellow students. However, your first duty, of course, is to take care of yourself."

Lily felt her face go slightly pink with shame.

"I have no doubt in your leadership abilities, Miss Evans, and I would be hard pressed to revoke them from you permanently. But I am a little disappointed. I think it would be best, for yourself and for the school-"

Lily held her breath. 

"If you were put on probation for a couple of months. I have a feeling-" Lily exhaled, and Dumbledore smiled. "That this is a bit of an isolated incident. However, if I am proven wrong, you do know the consequences."

Lily nodded soberly. "Yes, professor."

Dumbledore nodded. "Very good, then. You would do best to try and get some sleep now. Although I have a feeling I didn't need to tell you that." He smiled, and walked out of the ward. 

Lily fell back on her pillow. She had the feeling that her life had danced precariously on the fence between ruined and wonderful that evening, and for once…it hadn't been entirely her fault.

_Oh._

As though Dumbledore's presence had been holding back the thoughts, Lily was suddenly awash in the guilt of hurting her friends.

_I hope they're all right…_she wondered. But her eyelids were becoming very heavy, and the words were once again becoming a foggy jumble in her head. She slowly began to drift off to sleep.

She could hear the wind whistling through the trees and down the lawns through the open window as though everything she heard and felt were part of a wonderful and serene dream. The cool feeling of the sheets, the Luke-warm air of the room…and, as though out of nowhere…very soft footsteps.

_Must be people outside the ward…_she mused dreamily.

"…Lily…?"

_Who's that?_

"…Lily…? Are you alright…?"

_I must be losing my mind._

"Lily…? I'm so sorry. I really am…I didn't mean to hurt you…"

_Where is that coming from?_

"I just…wanted to have some fun. But I when heard that...crack…I'd thought I'd lost you…Can you hear me? Lily?"

_Sounds so familiar…_

"Oh, Lily, please be able to hear me…please…I'm so sorry. If you can find in your heart…"

_Oh…_

"To forgive me…I promise…I won't hurt you again…

_I know…_

"Sleep well…"

_It's…_

Lily suddenly opened her eyes. 

There was no one in the ward. Only the whistling of the wind and the air underneath the door could be heard.

_…James…?_

A/N: Hey again. I will, I really promise, try really hard to start writing more regularly, although I officially hate ETAs… J You can thank Trinity Day for yelling at me, and making me finally get myself (and this story) together. R/R.


	6. The Arrival

A/N: You're welcome.

I got done with this a little early, so I thought I'd surprise everybody and just go ahead and post it.

Now, this may not be the case from now on. But no more horrendously long waiting periods.

I don't own anything. But you already knew that.

**_Milady's Eyes_**

_By Adia_

_Chapter 6: The Arrival_

In a few days, Lily was walking around her room, and spending most of her time awake. He legs had healed properly, the swelling of most of her body had gone down and color was beginning to return to her face. Not long after that, she was up and about the school, good as new, and taking full advantage of being the only student to have reached Hogwarts thus far. 

She spent her days reading in the Gryffindor common room, taking long baths in the prefect bathroom, conversing with the castle ghosts, and doing some long overdo exploring. Although the expansiveness of the castle was admittedly lonely without anyone else to share it with, Lily took the opportunity to become reacquainted with her home away from home.

One afternoon, while perusing the library, Lily noticed that the gate to the restricted section was open. 

Her heart caught in her throat.

Lily was fully aware that she was treading on precariously thin ice already. However, the absence of any librarian in the vicinity made her curiosity even more insatiable.

She glanced around her to make sure that Filch wasn't lurking about, and went inside.

Lily had only been inside the restricted section on one occasion prior to this: she had been looking up a concoction for potions class, and a few of the ingredients required a bit of research. However, a few shelves into her search process, she had most unfortunately come across a biting book, which had clipped her hand and sent her yowling to the hospital ward. With this in mind, Lily made sure that she opened all books outwardly and slowly.

Wafting through the stacks, Lily grazed the spines with a delicate index finger. 

_Most Potente Potions, A Dark Arts Dictionary, The Many Uses for Unicorn…hmmm…_

_Treacherous Transfiguration?_

Lily inquisitively grasped the spine, and pulled the book off its shelf.

After opening it carefully and finding no cause for alarm, Lily sat down on the floor and placed the book in front of her. She pulled out her wand.

_"Lumos." _she whispered, and illuminated the pages. 

As Lily leafed through the text, she read of wizards who had transfigured Gringotts goblins into keys in order to pilfer the contents of vaults. There was an incident in a quidditch game where all brooms were transfigured into arrows, charmed into attacking the referee, and then the spectators, the poor players in tow. She read in horror the account of a dissatisfied patron who, upon entering a robe shop, had impulsively transfigured her less then quality garment into a noose, and hung the tailor.

_How on earth is this educational? _Lily's prefect instincts wondered. 

Turning back the table of contents, Lily's eyes stumbled upon a very peculiar chapter.

_Illegal Animagi?_

Flipping to the section, Lily began to read of the exploits of evil wizards who had taken full advantage of their unknown double life.

"_…Although closely regulated by the Ministry of magic, magical persons have been known, on occasion, to transfigure themselves with the knowledge and/or consent of Ministry officials. This act, of course, helps to separate themselves from their actions. Therefore, crimes committed by unregistered animagi are difficult to prosecute or even to fully understand. This capability can allow a wizard to virtually disappear from society without a trace, while still being able to function within it to some degree…"_

_Wow._

_"…However, the talent, skills, and experience required to make such a transition without the supervision and/or knowledge of a Ministry of Magic official are most difficult to come by. Such instances are far and few between…"_

Lily closed the book. But as she set it back on its shelf, she spied a few smudged fingerprints that she hadn't noticed before.

On the evening of Sept. 1st, Lily, dressed in her school robes, and headed into the Great Hall in anticipation of the arrival of the Hogwarts express. Although it felt most awkward to be the only student sitting down to dinner, she greatly looked forward to visiting with all the friends she hadn't seen since the end of last term.

Well, almost all of them.

James and Sirius aside, (whom she had seen since then, anyways) Lily was not especially looking forward to the barrage of Slytherins who would shortly be pouring through the great hall doors. First years notoriously complained of the harassment and taunting many Slytherins of all years subjected them to. However, it was widely unknown that the brunt of most of the torture landed on the prefects, particularly those who were smaller, prettier, and female.

And especially if you were known to cavort with James Potter.

Lily cringed at the thought of the forthcoming inquisition. Although many would find her exploits to be exciting, dangerous, and incredibly un-Lily-like (Or so they thought), some would be a little more concerned with why, exactly, she was willing to take such a risk.

Particularly those who weren't very approving of the reason.

It was these consequences that outweighed and overshadowed the popular benefits.

At the moment, however, this was the least of her concern.

As the ceiling overhead turned deep shades of indigo and purple, Lily began to hear people filing into the castle, voices excited and exuberant, seemingly restoring life to the desolation that had pervaded the space only hours ago.

The doors opened.

Quite to her amusement, not many noticed that Lily had somehow beaten them all to the feast. Instead, the boisterous conversation had drowned the few Gryffindors who were surpised when Lily had not boarded the train at 9 and ¾.

"Lily! What are you doing here?"

"How was your summer?"

"Had some adventures, did we now?"

"Oiy! I heard you were attacked!"

"Attacked? Oh, Lily, are you alright?"

"She's fine."

A playfully gruff voice from behind ruffled her hair and sat beside her at the table, dark eyes shining and hair in boyish disarray.

"She's sitting here listening to all of you, isn't she? "

Sirius grinned.

Although she was happy to see her best friend again, and was fully aware that he had never intended to hurt her, a small part of Lily's brain was still a little angry at what she had been subjected to.

"No thanks to you." She replied plainly.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come now. So it got a little rough. It isn't like that hasn't happened before."

Lily's guilt over her abandonment of the expedition was beginning to wane.

"Think of the millions of times I've risked my bum for you! It was an adventure. You had fun. I had fun. We all had fun. James, you had fun, right?"

Lily turned around.

The tall, willowy boy was standing apprehensively to the side, seemingly unsure of whether to join them or to remain in the plethora of people.

Now that they were in the light, Lily saw that his eyes were very, very blue.

All she could do was stare.

"No, Sirius…a broken leg and sliced up body is not my idea of fun." She replied without looking back.

Sirius groaned.

"Don't be so dramatic. Those things were healed, weren't they? And what are **you** waiting for? You want food as much as I do. Sit." 

Sirius yanked the corner of James' robes. Losing his balance, he stumbled onto the seat next to Lily.

She stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to say or even what to think.

_And **had** he already tried to apologize?_

Sirius interrupted her thoughts. "But I must say, milady…that you are a hardly a match for the whomping willow. Nice try, though."

Lily's blood burned with a sudden surge of hatred. "Which, I might add, might not have proven without your arrogance and self-serving impulsiveness."

Lily stood up.

"It is safe to say that I am a bit of a trouble-maker. Which, for your information, I am." She nodded disdainfully to James. "But I am not an idiot. What you did was stupid and hazardous, without question.  And if you ever believe for a single second that you can use my supposed perfect character to your advantage ever again, you can kiss your days at Hog warts goodbye."

She turned to James.

"There is a difference between mischief and danger. Learn it."

Lily stormed out of the Great Hall, forgetting all about being hungry and lonely and thinking only of how the apology in the ward couldn't have been anything other then a very vivid dream. 

Later, after everyone had gone off to bed, Lily sat up with her books in the company of the Gryffindor common room firelight. Although term had barely started, Lily thought it would behoove her to perhaps get a head start on her studies in a vain attempt to save a bit of face among Hogwarts authority figures.

After all, it wasn't every day a prefect came flying in through a castle window.

Secretly, however, she often found it to be a bit of refuge from the rest of the world. Lost in her notes and her school things, Lily barely had a thought to spare on the incident in the Great Hall. Although at first very upset, Frank Longbottom had brought her up some cocoa and sandwiches from the kitchen and had made her laugh with stories of his horrendous holiday with his batty old grandmother. By the evening, she was so full and focused on her work that she had completely forgotten about anything that had occurred in the last couple of weeks.

Lily had been intently reading her old arithmancy notes and trying desperately to recall all of the summer's lost information when she heard the portrait hole swing open.

Lily froze, listening.

She heard footsteps across the floor, soft at first, then slightly louder as the person entered the common room. Then she heard a low voice above the crackling of the flames.

"Studying, I see…"

Lily closed her eyes. The voice was disheartening.

It was Severus Snape.

"Shouldn't you be getting your rest, instead?"

She had been hoping to avoid this moment.

Figuring it was of little use to give him the physical advantage, Lily rose from her chair and placed her books on the table. She faced the shadows at the doorway.

"Hello, Severus."

A tall, stoic figure, with dark greasy hair, long bony fingers, and eyes like shiny black beetles, dangerous and imploring, stepped into the light. He was the proverbial bishop of the Slytherin chessboard. His robes wafted in the air around him, his aura having an enigmatically sinister feel, as though his intentions were perpetually questionable.

Lily stood her ground.

"You're making it your business to tuck me in at night, now, I presume?"

He continued to stare, eyes searching her face.

"Severus, you're not supposed to be here."

"And if I am…" he replied in soft, silken tones. "What are you going to do…?"

Cold, cheerless eyes gleaming in the firelight, Severus advanced towards her, deliberately slow and intent on his fixation. He stopped, a foot from her face.

She could hear him breathe.

"Hello, Lily." He said softly.

She tried hard to avoid his stare. His slender form cast unusually large shadows against the common room floor.

"Heard there was a bit of an…incident…over the summer. I trust that you are better?"

Without thinking, Lily glanced up.

"Yes, I'm feeling quite well, thank you." She replied, "And I still have all posts of authority originally granted to me." She added quickly, in a vain attempt to avoid further questioning.

He nodded satisfactorily. "As to be expected. After all…" He slowly circled her, and whispered softly in her ear.

"You are certainly the model pupil…aren't you…"

Lily clenched her teeth. "Antagonism is highly unattractive, Severus."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why, certainly. How foolish of me to think that model student Lily Evans would ever set her standards so low. Of course," He took a small step towards her, lowering his voice. "That hardly explains the Potter thing…" He said disdainfully.

Lily's heart skipped a beat. "What Potter thing?"

"Don't play stupid. You know what I mean." He turned to leave, and then stopped.

He slowly spun around.

"Unless…of course… the incident in question has done something to somewhat, shall we say, _weaken _your feelings."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand."

Snape gave a mirthless laugh.  "Ah, yes. Denial." He said softly. "The first psychological stage of loss." 

He started again to leave. "However, as I understand…denial eventually leads to acceptance…at which point, perhaps you'd like to take…other options…into consideration."

He walked to edge of the common room, disappearing into the shadows. He eyes still gleamed in the half-light.

"Unless, of course," he added, "you enjoy being the scapegoat of dunderheads."

And with that, Snape swept out of the portrait hole.  
  


A/N: Ok, here's the deal. In case you aren't a writer, these are hard to write. So morale is constantly a factor. But guess what? YOU can control morale by reviewing and letting me know someone is actually reading this. This took me, working extensively, 5 days to write. It will take you 30 seconds to review. Thank you. :)


	7. Quidditch & Confusion

A/N: Um, merry belated Christmas?

I think I've figured out the key to not having writers block after every chapter. Plan them in advance. hits head for being so dumb Which, I have, so this shouldn't be such an enormous problem from now on.

**_Milady's Eyes_**

_By Adia_

_Chapter 7: Confusion & Quidditch_

Life had almost returned to normal.

As normal as the lives of exuberant young wizards and witches could be, that is.

With the onset of more difficult coursework and greater responsibility, the Gryffindor 6th years found themselves spending a great deal more time studying, paying attention in class and generally having an abominable time. 

"I hate Hogwarts!" A ruffled girl had announced in the middle of a difficult potions exam, her healing elixir having scalded her robes and the robes of everyone in her immediate vicinity.

Having gotten ahead in all her coursework, but still unable to face either James or Sirius, Lily began spending numerous unnecessary hours in the library, researching everything from advanced transfiguration to the breeding of dragons, courtesy of an extended pass that allowed to her to visit the restricted section whenever she liked.

"It's the least I could do." The librarian had said on Lily's receiving the specially un-erasable piece of parchment that granted such permission. "I was afraid that you were going to run out of books!"

Although this seemed hardly the case from Lily's perspective. Considering the frequency with which she had ducked into the library in order to avoid the pair, Lily's corresponding numerous exploits in the stacks were beginning to prove how boring an excess of knowledge could be.

One particularly lonely evening, after pursuing through a worn copy of _Magical Maladies and Common Cures, _Lily glanced up at the clock above the librarian's desk and realized that she had little time before lights out. Seeing as though she was still on probation, Lily hardly believed it to be in her best interests to be late.

Although it suddenly occurred to her that being directly on time would be mean facing James, as prefects were responsible for making sure tardy students, like herself, got to bed.

_Perhaps one more book, _she thought as she returned to the stacks. _There are so many prefects anyway, I hardly doubt anyone would miss me for a few minutes. _

Lily retuned to book to its proper place. She then noticed that the librarian had forgotten to lock the gates to the restricted section on her way out.

_That's odd, _she mused. _Oh, well. It isn't like I don't have a note anyway. And I'm sure just looking for something that isn't harmful to the touch will give me enough to time to do my duties without having to deal with anyone…unsavory._

Lily scrunched up her nose. She was finding it harder and harder to refer to the two by their names without becoming sour.

_Well, that's what you get when you decide to seclude your entire life! _Her brain shouted acidly. 

Lily looked at the clock. 5 minutes wouldn't do much harm. Figuring it was just as well she took advantage of the open gate, anyway, Lily scuttled inside and closed it behind her. 

Lily began to peruse to shelves, inwardly estimating the physical danger each volume might pose.

_Hmmm…older ones are generally more violent…Although, thin ones are known to be just ass nasty if you don't know how to handle them…Black books are never good…Is that a blood stain? Oh, my…_

Suddenly, Lily heard some shuffling from a few stacks over. She froze. 

Pinning herself against a shelf of books, Lily strained to listen, barely making out the muffled conversation

"…See? What did I tell you? It isn't hazardous, you panicky git."

"…don't know what you mean, Sirius…"

_Sirius?_

She pressed her ear against a empty slot on the shelf.

"…Says right here, Peter….spit isn't dangerous…"

"…Never know with werewolves…James…"

_Werewolves?_

Lily was afraid to breathe, lest she made a sound.

"…Don't be a dunderhead…Says right here…"

"Shhh…someone might hear us…!"

"…No one's here…everyone's going to bed…stop fidgeting."

"Oiy….Sirius…we've got to get back…prefect check-in…"

"…still don't know about this…"

"Shut your trap…says right here in the book…gerroff, I know what I'm talking about!"

"Stop it….already late, let's go…"

Lily instinctively slid to the ground, holding her breath.

She watched as the three wizards glided past the stacks where she lay, robes billowing in the dark.

She heard the gate to the restricted section shut. Lily breathed a sigh of relief.

However, her complacency was only temporary. After waiting a few moments in order to put a comfortable distance between her and the three, Lily remembered to be worried about the content of their conversation.

_Why on earth would they need to know anything about werewolves? _She wondered. 

_And why wouldn't they go to Dumbledore first if it was that important?_

Then Lily remembered  to whom this pertained.

_What loggerheads. _She thought miserably as she reached the portrait hole.

_They just won't stop until somebody's dead…_

A few days later, on a warm autumn Saturday, Lily had been coerced by many of her Gryffindor girlfriends to attend the annual Slytherin vs. Gryffindor quidditch match, an annual favorite amongst the die-hard competitive players of all houses.

"It'll be fun, Lil." Her friend Annette had remarked while pulling on her winter robes and hat. "Honestly, you're the only person I know who wouldn't mind studying while half the school is having the time of their lives."

Lily shrugged. She had a point.

A quarter of an hour later, however, Lily was not quite as ready to concede. Clouds and a few gusts of wind that proved to be particularly blistery had already spoiled the warm autumn morning. Pulling her robes around her person rightly, Lily secretly hoped it would be quick match.

Annette and Remus, who had somehow predicted the weather more successfully then she had, joined her that morning, armed to the tooth in blankets and butter beer. However, upon noticing Lily's shivers, they became more then willing to share. 

"Isn't this exciting, Lily?" Remus remarked, puffed breathes billowing into the chilly air. He snuggled closer to her. "Too bad it's so bloody cold."

Lily smiled, ruffling his soft brown hair. "It's not too bad," she remarked, "And I'm sure it'll be worth it."

Annette's eyes opened wide. "Will it? Of course!" She scooted to the edge of her seat. "Just check out the starting seeker!"

Lily didn't have to look to know whom Annette was referring to. "What about him?"

Annette giggled. "Isn't he dreamy? I'd bet you a hundred galleons that he'll take us to the quidditch cup this year. I just know it." She sighed.

Remus, knowing full well what was racing through Lily's head, glanced up to see how she'd react. But Lily said nothing. She merely peered down onto the field, pretending to be very engrossed in Gryffindor pre-game warm ups.

He leaned into her shoulder. "Why don't you just talk to him?" He whispered. "I'm sure you two would make great friends if you gave him another chance."

Lily didn't face him. "I know who my great friends are." She said softly. "I don't need any help."

Remus looked slightly wounded. He pulled away from her and took another swig of butter beer.

Lily just stared.

James stood in the middle of the pitch, robes billowing in the breeze, armed to the teeth (and knuckles) in protective gear, filling out his normally lanky form. He looked somewhat like a warrior, if such a fighter was about to conquer a quidditch pitch and prove to every spectator who could glimpse him that he was truly king of this mountain.

Lily could just make out his barking orders to his team, arms and fingers pointed in various directions, the rest of the Gryffindor squad tossing around balls and flying in tight formations. She secretly wondered where he had garnered all the discipline. 

Suddenly, the referee came onto the pitch, and motioned for the Gryffindor team to stop practicing. Then, the Slytherins took the field.

The arena suddenly came to life, the side adorned in green and silver erupting into waves of applause and shouting, the Gryffindors immediately transformed into impassioned hecklers.

Lily glanced at Annette, who had risen from her seat in order to join the fray, shouting wildly:

"I love the Gryffindor seeker!"

Somehow, James managed to hear this above the clamor, and blew a kiss in her general direction. Annette bounced.

Lily rolled her eyes.

Remus looked concerned. "You **are** planning on becoming friends again…aren't you?"

Lily looked back at him, suddenly somber. "I'm not sure we were ever friends."

But Remus didn't have a chance to respond. The two teams had lined themselves up in their respective positions, and referee was poised to toss the quaffle in the air. The noise from the spectators was deafening.

The ball was flung in the sky. The whistle blew. The two teams immediately plunged themselves into each other's ranks in a mad attempt to control the ball. 

The crowd was hysterical. Lily, having not seen a quidditch match in some time, was unsure of what she was supposed to watch, seeing as though four kinds of players were each doing battle with the competitor of the same role on the opposite side. 

_This is like watching four different games at once. _She mused.

A Gryffindor chaser emerged victorious, clutching the quaffle and making a beeline for the Slytherin keeper. A few moments and a couple of player's worth of confusion later, the crowd roared.

Lily squinted, unable to see much of anything.

"Ten points for us!" Annette reiterated happily, all the while keeping her eye on the watchful seeker.

Lily glanced over to where Annette was looking. There he was, soaring atop the action, squinting with all his might for a glimpse at the golden idol of the game. He swooped through trees and dived towards the pitch, making Lily dizzy with the effort of following him with her eyes.

"Isn't this exciting?" Annette remarked.

Lily felt sick. "Bloody incredible." She muttered.

James glided through the players, soaring effortlessly like a bird atop his broomstick.

_Atop his broomstick._

Lily suddenly burned with anger.

_The broomstick that nearly had me killed._

Suddenly, James changed directions and sped upwards, towards the Gryffindor section.

"What is he doing?" Remus remarked offhandedly. He and Lily had both never quite understood the logistics behind quidditch.

Up he climbed, until he reached the high box where the three of them were sitting.

Lily tried valiantly not to look away.

James winked at her. Then, before she could even comprehend what had happened, he zoomed away in the opposite direction.

The crowd grew noisy. 

"…And it seems the Gryffindor seeker has already found the snitch! No, no, the game isn't over yet, the Slytherin seeker isn't giving this one up without a fight!"

Annette stood, shouting and cheering at the top of her lungs.

"…there they go! Up, no, down…the Gryffindor seeker can't decide where to go! He fakes left…No, he's faking right….what's this…the two are diving dead center into the pitch…down, down, down….someone's got to give, or both the players will be seriously hurting tonight …!"

Annette covered her eyes, spreading her fingers so that she could peer through the gaps.

"They're both speeding up! This looks like it's going to be one ugly crash landing…! WAIT! POTTER IS PULLING AHEAD!"

Lily strained to see what was going on.

"HE'S GOING…GOING FASTER…HE'S JUST INCHES AWAY…HE'S GOT THE SNITCH! GRYFFINDOR WINS!"

The crowd erupted. Annette jumped up, cheering and screaming. Even Remus, who was normally subdued and good-natured, was suddenly exuberant. 

"We won! We won! Wow, Lily, we won in record time! This has got to be some sort of a Hogwarts record, don't you think?…Lily…?"

She didn't respond. Lily looked at her feet, happy for her house, but unsure about how to feel.

James had just won by taking another unnecessary and dangerous chance.

It was necessary in the respect that it allowed Gryffindor to win the game, but in the grand scheme of life, Lily couldn't help but think that it may have left him seriously wounded. 

Although the thought of James wounded by his own doing was not exactly unwelcome in the darker corners of Lily's mind.

She looked back up. Fans were pouring onto the field, and players swooping and cheering, and congratulating themselves on such a quick and decisive victory.

James, however, was not apart of the celebration.

Lily searched the field for him amidst all the clamor of the players and spectators. But somehow, he had seemingly vanished not long after he'd caught the snitch.

_Odd. _She thought.

_You'd think he'd want to revel in his idiocy._

Then something swooped not far from her head, leaving her curls dancing in the wind. Lily frantically tried to pull them back down.

Remus glanced upwards.

"Hello, James." He called pleasantly.

James circled back around and hovered about their heads. Then, without a word, he dropped a single rose into Lily's lap. He took off towards the other side of the stadium.

Annette was beside herself in jealousy. "Honestly, You sit there and pout while I give my all, and he plucks flowers for you! What is it about you, Lily? And why aren't you happy?"

Lily laughed mirthlessly. "Common sense."

She chose to ignore the last question. 

Remus glanced at the flower. He picked it up gingerly, examining the nuances of the petals with his fingers. He smiled.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "What? What is it?"

Remus smiled. "Nothing…don't worry about it." He set the flower back in her lap.

"No, what?"

Remus sighed, complacently. 

"Just wait. You'll see."

A/N: Ya, you know the drill. Believe it or not, all comments are very helpful. If you have an interesting plot idea that you'd like to share (Twists are always fun), I can be reached at Tilligirl@aol.com, lest you'd rather give it away for all to see in a review. J


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